Fatigue

Fatigue of mind, body and spirit is one of the most difficult aspects of a chronic illness.  When one is tired, there is no energy to deal with pain, to advocate, to patiently explain to friends and family - there is just exhaustion.

My body is exhausted.  It has spent years fighting to live, to work, to play and to command the pain to stop.  Fatigue will be the determining factor in whether I succeed or fail...whether the pain overtakes me or I manage it.

There are ways to counteract the fatigue but they are not always easy nor readily accessible: friends, family, cleaning service, psychiatrist, therapist, support group, dog, pastor/spiritual advisor, masseur etc.  See, the fatigue isn't just about sleep (though my lack of sleep causes great issues) it is the fatigue of the spirit that endangers those living with chronic illness most.  Once the spirit gives up or surrenders, the body loses its ability to fight.  To kick and scream and say "like hell is the pain gonna take me".

Fatigue also threatens all around us.  Partners, doctors, children, friends, family - they all get tired of hearing about being in pain.  They become exhausted by the tedium of doctor visits, lab work, and alternative therapies.  Thankfully, it is easier for them to recharge because they are able to leave the pain and fatigue behind and focus on what is in front of them before coming back to it.  Sadly, those living with chronic pain don't have those spans of freedom, they are given only moments.

There is hope.  We can counter fatigue by recognizing it and surrendering to it at times.  Allowing ourselves to be exhausted and giving ourselves a break can help.  Removing the guilt from the situation (I should be able to just clean the kitchen) also helps break the cycle and hold that fatigue has.  Reaching out to our friends, support groups, and loved ones - asking for a great story or joke, a meal, a hug, can give us moments of freedom from fatigue.  Cling to those moments and use them when you are maxed out.  Finally, remember it is okay (and understandable) that we are exhausted and fatigued.  We spend everyday in a battle with our bodies - trying to do the unimaginable: using a sick body to do healthy, happy, fulfilling things.

Next time you have a friend or loved one who is fatigued, honor them and their constant battle by sending a card, a meal, a kind thought, a prayer, a gentle hug.  Remember what it is like to be exhausted and imagine doing that everyday.  You will find kindness and compassion for many around you.

Remember: illness isn't catching, kindness is :)  Pass it on.