PSA (not to be confused with PDA)

 Invisible illnesses sound like some sort of super hero sickness.  "I am able to spread the flu without coughing, sneezing, breathing, or touching anything".  However, the reality is that these invisible illnesses are not only serious health crises but also emotional and psychological crises - and they are all around us. People suffer from chiari, arthritis, diabetes, lupus, lyme disease, fibromyalgia, cancer, etc. all the time.  They might look great.  They might not have lost their hair and maybe they aren't using a cane.  But they are in pain.  They are suffering.  There are times they cannot do laundry or even make themselves lunch.  Trust me - I am living it.

Well meaning people (I hope they mean well) offer the dumbest suggestions: "pray about your illness", "have you googled it?", "have you considered alternative medicine", "maybe you just need your doctor to change your prescription".  Gosh, I had never thought to try any of those things.

Invisibility: our struggles, hopes, dreams, and what we have lost.  I used to work full time.  I had a career, was a kindergarten room Mom, CASA volunteer and CEO of my household.  Now, I struggle to vacuum a room or take a shower.
I don't want pity.  I don't need pity.  I want equality.  I want to be just as important as the Mom who travels all over the world making 6 figures and somehow manages to make dinner for the family on Saturday nights.  I want my worth recognized.  Yes, it is different.  However, not throwing a tantrum, not screaming, not crying, not yelling at my children or partner, managing to attend my children's concert, or sit through dinner at the table - these are my triumphs...and they have worth.

Allow me to take you on a tour inside my mind.  Imagine the worst headache you have ever had.  Now, close your eyes and imagine that with your headache you are running along 5th Avenue in NYC hearing the horns blaring, cars rushing, people pushing past you, knocking into you.  Each sound magnified, each touch is electricity painfully shooting through you.  Now finally imagine while running you are listening to your ipod and the only sound is a tornado siren at its highest pitch.  It never, ever stops.  That is my constant headache and the tinnitus that constantly screams in my ear.  
Yeah, I deserve a freaking medal for attending a concert or making dinner.  I deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect and admiration that Mom's who bake brownies and make all their own damn bread are given.  All of us living with our invisible illnesses deserve that.  A little respect, a lot less guilt and unabashed kindness is what we need.

Yet, we are faced with the looks of  "Do you really need that handicap parking spot", "You don't work and yet you can't bake cookies for the kindergarten bake sale".  If only everyone could walk in our shoes for one day.  There would be a lot less judging and a lot more kindness randomly given.

I have chosen to share my life to remind everyone that just because someone isn't screaming, crying or throwing a tantrum does not mean that they are not seriously ill or don't need compassion, a hand, or a hug.  If you know someone who is dealing with these issues and is having a tough time - reach out. You will be amazed at the impact you have on their lives. Kindness is contagious - these illnesses aren't. Pass it on.

Thank you for listening. This PSA has been brought to you by Zipperhead Tamara. I currently have no endorsements but am willing to entertain offers.